We all have that voice in our heads, the one that whispers (or sometimes shouts) criticism and doubts. This is our inner critic, and while it can feel harsh, it’s often trying to protect us in its own way. As a therapist who uses Internal Family Systems (IFS), I want to help you approach your inner critic with compassion and understanding, transforming it from a bully to an ally.
From attack to understanding: Reframing the critic’s role
Imagine your inner critic as a part of you, maybe a younger version of who experienced hurt or disappointment. This part might be trying to keep you safe by pointing out flaws or pushing you towards perfectionism. The key in IFS is to see this part with curiosity, not judgment.
Here’s how to get started
1. Acknowledge the critic: When you hear that critical voice, take a deep breath and acknowledge its presence. Say something like, “There’s that inner critic again.”
2. Get curious: Instead of arguing back, ask your critic some gentle questions: “What are you trying to protect me from?” “What would make you feel better?”
3. Offer compassion: Imagine holding a scared child. Speak to your critic with the same kindness. “It sounds like you’re feeling worried. I’m here for you.”
Remember, you are the Self, not the Critic.
The “Self” in IFS is your authentic, compassionate one. As you connect with this part, you can access your inner wisdom and strength. This allows you to detach from the critic’s negativity and make choices that align with your values, not your fears.
The process takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress. If you find it challenging, consider seeking help from an IFS therapist who can guide you through this journey of self-discovery.
Remember, your inner critic isn’t the enemy. It’s a part of you that is yearning to be seen and understood. With compassion and curiosity, you can transform this critic into a source of inner strength and self-acceptance.
With compassion,
Hila
IH Psychotherapy is a practice located in Vaughan, Ontario. Our team provides in-person and virtual therapy. We serve clients in Thornhill, Richmond Hill, North York, Toronto, Woodbridge, Markham, Newmarket, and Maple. Our virtual therapy services enable us to support clients in the Greater Toronto Area such as Mississauga, Brampton, Etobicoke and cities throughout Ontario.
The information provided in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional psychotherapy or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified mental health provider. We do not endorse or guarantee the accuracy, quality, suitability, or reliability of any of the resources listed.