As a therapist, I witness firsthand the deep pain people experience after a marriage breaks down. It’s a loss unlike any other, a shattering of dreams and the future you envisioned. You might be feeling lost, confused, and wondering how to move forward.
One way to understand the emotional rollercoaster is through the lens of grief. The stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, often used to describe loss after death, can also apply to the end of a marriage.
Here’s a gentle guide to these stages:
* Denial: It’s natural to resist the reality of the situation. Give yourself time to process, but don’t let denial prevent you from addressing the situation.
* Anger: You might be angry at your ex-partner, yourself, or the world. Allow yourself to feel this anger but in a healthy way. Journaling, exercise, or creative outlets can help.
* Bargaining: You might find yourself thinking, “What if I had done….?” This is normal, but remember you can’t change the past. Focus on what you can control – your own healing journey.
* Depression: Sadness, loneliness, and a loss of identity are common. Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to a trusted friend, family, or a support group.
* Acceptance: This doesn’t mean you’re happy about the situation, but rather that you have an understanding and acceptance of the end of your marriage.
Here are some resources to help you navigate this difficult time:
* Individual therapy: A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your emotions and develop coping mechanisms. They can also offer guidance on practical matters like co-parenting or navigating the legal process.
* Support groups: Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can be incredibly helpful. Look for online or in-person support groups specifically for people going through a divorce.
* Self-care: Take care of yourself physically, and emotionally. Eat healthy, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. Prioritize activities that bring you joy and a sense of calm.
Remember healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is light at the end of the tunnel and you will emerge from this stronger.
Additional Resources:
* The Ontario government website provides information on various family law topics, including divorce, child support, and property division https://www.ontario.ca/page/family-law-services
* Steps to Justice, a government resource, offers legal information and resources about separation and divorce, including steps to take and how to apply for legal aid https://stepstojustice.ca
You are not alone. If you’re struggling, please reach out for support.
IH Psychotherapy is a practice located in Vaughan, Ontario. Our team provides in-person and virtual therapy. We serve clients in Thornhill, Richmond Hill, North York, Toronto, Woodbridge, Markham, Newmarket, and Maple. Our virtual therapy services enable us to support clients in the Greater Toronto Area such as Mississauga, Brampton, Etobicoke and cities throughout Ontario.
The information provided in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional psychotherapy or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified mental health provider. We do not endorse or guarantee the accuracy, quality, suitability, or reliability of any of the resources listed.