Finding distance: The power of externalizing labels in therapy

We all carry stories. Sometimes, these stories are filled with joy and laughter, but often, they hold threads of struggle and pain. In therapy, we explore these narratives together, navigating the challenges that might hold us back. One powerful tool we can use on this journey is externalization.

Externalization means separating yourself from the problem. Imagine your struggles – anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem as characters in your story, not as defining features of who you are. We might call them, “The Worry Monster” or “The Inner Critic.” By giving them a name and placing them outside of yourself, we can create distance.

The distance is crucial. When we internalize our problems, they become a part of our identity. We might say, “I am anxious” or “I am a failure.” This fusion can feel overwhelming and defeating. But by externalizing, we create space to see ourselves differently. We become the hero of our story, not the villain defined by our struggles.

Here’s how externalization can be helpful:

* Reduced Shame: When “The Worry Monster” is the one whispering doubts, it feels less like a personal flaw and more like an external force you can challenge.

* Empowerment: Separating yourself from the problem allows you to see your strength and ability to cope. You become the one who fights the monster and not the other way around.

* Increased self-compassion: It’s easier to offer kindness to yourself when you see your struggles as something separate. You can acknowledge the difficulty without feeling defined by it.

Externalization is a collaborative process. We’ll work together to find the language and imagery that resonates most with you. It might feel silly at first, but trust the process. This playful approach which is commonly used in narrative therapy can unlock a deeper understanding of yourself and your challenges.

Remember, therapy is a journey of self-discovery. Eternalization is a powerful tool that can help you rewrite your narrative, one where you are the author of your own story, not your problems.

If you are interested in learning more about externalization and how it can benefit you, please reach out. We are here to walk alongside you on your path the healing and self-compassion.


IH Psychotherapy is a practice located in Vaughan, Ontario. Our team provides in-person and virtual therapy. We serve clients in Thornhill, Richmond Hill, North York, Toronto, Woodbridge, Markham, Newmarket, and Maple. Our virtual therapy services enable us to support clients in the Greater Toronto Area such as Mississauga, Brampton, Etobicoke and cities throughout Ontario.

The information provided in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional psychotherapy or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified mental health provider. We do not endorse or guarantee the accuracy, quality, suitability, or reliability of any of the resources listed.

We are here to help you develop inner harmony